And not in a good way.
i'm not carrie
I'm lying in bed right now, laptop actually on my lap. But I can't come up with one good question that neatly ties up my experiences in a bow. And I've got a raging headache.
"Does this have to be so hellish?!"
Goober a few weeks ago said I talked too much, and he's never met anyone who talked as much as me. Let me set the context: We'd driven from his house to the restaurant and I was telling him about my day. It was a 10 minute drive. This idiot, to his misfortune, had on a previous date told me about taking a woman he'd just met to New York; she went out and found someone to buy drugs from, and I don't remember how but the police had to come. I believe this winner doesn't get out much. Oh and he had a gold toofus.
Another goober wanted to play flirty-flirty via email, rather than talk on the phone; he says he lives in Oakland, but in reality is in some boondock outpost around Modesto. When I told him that he needed to get off the pot and call me or stop bothering me, he called. At 6:30am in the morning. Of course I didn't answer. But I did call back later. Have not heard a peep from this one since.
Goober tonight said that he hates the bay area. Just the way it feels. He thinks everyone is snobby. He hates not seeing other black people around him. People here don't "dress nicely" and women don't wear high heels. Therefore, he spends every other weekend out of town, I'm guessing to get his fix of black folk. When I asked what he was looking for since he doesn't have weekends free and he has his daughter 1/2 of each week, he said that he can find time, a few hours every few days or so. He figured that equates to a casual relationship. To me, that barely adds up to an acquaintanceship, let alone a relationship. By the way, dude was wearing a gold chain with a nugget initial pendant, a gold bracelet, an earring, a gold watch. And a tight black t-shirt.
And of course you remember get nasty in the car goober.
There are some freaky, lonely, strange, ill-mannered people out there. Making my ass hurt at least as much as my head does right now.
Now, I know I'm not Miss Gentle 'n Sweet, especially when confronted with ignorance or idiocy. I'm not the good, religious, all up in the church woman. I'm not the instantly hot babe just waiting for the perfect man to pay a booty call. I'm not overly impressed with having a job or a college education. I'm not a head nodder. I'm not tolerant of bigotry, sexism, or homophobia.
And most of all, I'm not interested in impressing them.
but i am
A good listener (and oh, what I've had to listen to) I give good conversation. I'm empathetic. I'm honest. I'm forthright without being hurtful. I'm sexy but I don't see my sexuality as a tool with which to manipulate folks. I'm open and accepting. I'm real - what you see/read/hear is what you get.
what i want
I know now why some folks have been moved to write what they don't want in their online profiles. I'm so tempted, so very tempted.
But what I want is just someone to have good, sweet times with. That's all. That's it. Nothing more.
I believe I need a break.